I've been doing it again. . .

Sunday was our anniversary and although we had a great time it was bittersweet because I can't get a handle on my weight loss.

For the past week, I've been absolutely careless about what I put in my mouth. 

 I slip and slide with my weight and yet I've managed to hang on to the same number, the number that represents the place I was when I quit.  I'm not doing that to myself.  It's pointless to work so hard for what I have and then just throw it all away.

I signed up for meetings again.  I need someone to be accountable to.  Someone who won't change my weigh in day because my week wasn't going according to plan.

Rule Breakers

The Mr. and I are doing a half and half week because our next vacation (can you believe we're leaving already?) starts on Thursday evening.  From this morning until the moment we get to Utah, we are Simply Filling all the way.  Once we're there, we're going to go back to counting points.  Against the rules?  Yes!  We just feel like we need a minute to be SFT eaters (because we just need a change of pace) but know we won't be able to maintain the lifestyle once we're officially on vacation.

Sorry. . .

So sorry that I've been MIA for a while.  After last week's post (or was it two weeks ago) I was a little depressed and didn't really know what to do with myself since all of my life plans had changed.  I decided that this was a bit of temporary insanity and the Mr. and I are much better going on our journey as we had originally envisioned.

In other news, the Mr. and I are starting to shop for loans for a home.  Exciting, yes?  Also amazingly stressful.  We're actually thinking about getting a condo instead because we don't really want the maintenance of a house but still want a little yard for our pup.  We went and looked at a neighborhood which is in my dad's part of town, but it was a no-go because there were far too many stairs in the condos.

We've also planned a trip to visit my mom in Utah next week.  Last time I went to visit her, I lost tons of weight in the few days I was there because of the better eating and increased activity, hopefully I'll get that again.

And the most exciting news is. . .  I'm down to 162.6.  That's a total loss of 27.3 pounds.  Only 1.6 away from my 15% anniversary goal.  I tried out a kick-boxing video on Netflix that was tons of fun and very point friendly, if you know what I mean.

Starting Over {Again}

After my flub on vacation and then the holiday festivities, I haven't been doing so well.  At other times in my journey, I've used the Simply Filling Technique to get back in the saddle.  That's exactly what I did yesterday.  I did an early weigh in and faced the facts.  I was back up to 188 and was doomed to weigh more than that in a few days.

Since my last post, the Mr. and I are/were having a bit of a pregnancy scare.  He was convinced I was pregnant (which is definitely not in the plan for a long while) which then made me question myself.  I took a test.  I'm not, but rationally I know that 1) I should not be showing signs of symptoms yet and 2) even if I am, the test was taken too early to tell.  At least it calmed him down for a bit.

Unfortunately, this incident has pulled me from deciding that it would be at least 5 years before we started talking about this issue to I'd like one soon.  Soon as in, it would be nice to get this damned weight off and start trying. I just keep telling myself that it's all about the bigger picture.

Success!

Rationally, I know that extra weight I gained was probably a bunch of water and junk that was in my body.  I know this, yet to look at those extra numbers killed me.  Honestly, I felt as if I was going to gain that much weight over the course of 5 days, what was the point of working so hard to get to my goal.  At the time of my return, my mini goal (to lose 7 pounds by my anniversary) had been raised to 10.  It really makes me feel like I suck at life (and weight loss).

After a few hours thinking that way, I decided that I had to succeed.  What's the point of trying so hard if I'm just going to give up when the going gets tough.  I brushed myself off and made a pact with myself that I was going to beat those 3.6 pounds. Guess what. . .

Well, as of this morning, I've lost 1.4 pounds.  Kind of ridiculous isn't it?  It would be really really nice if it was all gone by the time WI comes around on Saturday (or at least close).  Now that I'm done with this downward spiral of self loathing, I realize that it wasn't worth it.  How much time was wasted over absolutely nothing?

Vacation

Hi everyone!  I just got back from vacation in sunny (or mostly cloudy) San Francisco.  We had an awesome time and walked sooo much because we didn't have a car.


On the first full day of our vacation, we visited Golden Gate Park, which was only a block from where we were staying.  Maybe I'm biased because I'm a West Coast girl at heart, but I liked it much more than I liked Central Park in New York.  The whole place just looked so forest-y that I really couldn't contain myself.  We also ventured to Haight Ashbury (which is next to the park, if you're interested) and walked around the streets for a while.  The Mr. and I couldn't believe that they were selling $45 tie-dyed t-shirts, that's freakin' outrageous!  Note to self: start a tye-dye t-shirt company and make tons of money.  On our journey through Haight Ashbury, we stopped and had a look at the Greatful Dead house, if they ever need anyone to move in, I'll gladly sacrifice.


Coincidentally, this weekend was Pride, which is the gay pride extravaganza that goes on every year.  Even though we didn't plan on going to SF during one of the most exciting weekends of the year, we definitely felt that we needed to take advantage of the festivities (and boy, are we glad we did).  We started at the Civic Center, which is where the "festival" takes place, where we saw tons of interesting and un-clothed people.  Then, we continued up the parade route and watched the whole thing.  There were all sorts of floats and costumes (some of them were barely there) and we definitely learned some interesting things about our world.  We even learned about a company that rents "lawn-mowing" goats, which I suppose is a greener alternative to a gas mower.


We continued down the road and hit both Pier 39 and Fisherman's Wharf.  We had lunch on the patio at The Hard Rock Cafe and then visited the Musee Mecanique, which is an arcade filled with turn of the century arcade games.  After the Musee, we stopped by Ben & Jerry's to have some delicious low-fat blueberry ice cream.


And. . .  for the good and bad news.  I had to weigh in early because I left Thursday night, which gave brought me down to 165.0!  Unfortunately, I weighed again this morning to face the facts and found that I gained 3.6 pounds.  Really?  How could I have gained that much?  So, even though I had a great time on my trip, I'm not sure that it was worth it in the WW department.

Another Binge

What's with me lately?  Or maybe it should be more appropriately asking myself, why am I still doing this?  I ate not one but two bags of Sun Chips and graham crackers with peanut butter and honey (which were super delicious, btw).  I've tracked and moved on, but I still can't shake the thought that I'm doing this to myself and yet I don't know why.

I've decided to make a list of all of my gains and losses on my WLJ, so I can look and see where I've come from and where I am now.  I'm also thinking that I'm eating because I'm bored (which is mostly how I got here) and that I need a project.  Luckily, I really need to get my wedding album taken care of (since our 1 year anniversary is in a little over a month, oops!).  When I'm bored, I will work on that, rather than eat a vast majority of my weekly points in one sitting.  This might sound lame, but I made a sign to hang on my fridge and in my cabinet door, so I can remind myself that I have better things to be doing.

(A little shameless passive-aggressive note to myself)