I've been doing it again. . .

Sunday was our anniversary and although we had a great time it was bittersweet because I can't get a handle on my weight loss.

For the past week, I've been absolutely careless about what I put in my mouth. 

 I slip and slide with my weight and yet I've managed to hang on to the same number, the number that represents the place I was when I quit.  I'm not doing that to myself.  It's pointless to work so hard for what I have and then just throw it all away.

I signed up for meetings again.  I need someone to be accountable to.  Someone who won't change my weigh in day because my week wasn't going according to plan.

Rule Breakers

The Mr. and I are doing a half and half week because our next vacation (can you believe we're leaving already?) starts on Thursday evening.  From this morning until the moment we get to Utah, we are Simply Filling all the way.  Once we're there, we're going to go back to counting points.  Against the rules?  Yes!  We just feel like we need a minute to be SFT eaters (because we just need a change of pace) but know we won't be able to maintain the lifestyle once we're officially on vacation.

Sorry. . .

So sorry that I've been MIA for a while.  After last week's post (or was it two weeks ago) I was a little depressed and didn't really know what to do with myself since all of my life plans had changed.  I decided that this was a bit of temporary insanity and the Mr. and I are much better going on our journey as we had originally envisioned.

In other news, the Mr. and I are starting to shop for loans for a home.  Exciting, yes?  Also amazingly stressful.  We're actually thinking about getting a condo instead because we don't really want the maintenance of a house but still want a little yard for our pup.  We went and looked at a neighborhood which is in my dad's part of town, but it was a no-go because there were far too many stairs in the condos.

We've also planned a trip to visit my mom in Utah next week.  Last time I went to visit her, I lost tons of weight in the few days I was there because of the better eating and increased activity, hopefully I'll get that again.

And the most exciting news is. . .  I'm down to 162.6.  That's a total loss of 27.3 pounds.  Only 1.6 away from my 15% anniversary goal.  I tried out a kick-boxing video on Netflix that was tons of fun and very point friendly, if you know what I mean.

Starting Over {Again}

After my flub on vacation and then the holiday festivities, I haven't been doing so well.  At other times in my journey, I've used the Simply Filling Technique to get back in the saddle.  That's exactly what I did yesterday.  I did an early weigh in and faced the facts.  I was back up to 188 and was doomed to weigh more than that in a few days.

Since my last post, the Mr. and I are/were having a bit of a pregnancy scare.  He was convinced I was pregnant (which is definitely not in the plan for a long while) which then made me question myself.  I took a test.  I'm not, but rationally I know that 1) I should not be showing signs of symptoms yet and 2) even if I am, the test was taken too early to tell.  At least it calmed him down for a bit.

Unfortunately, this incident has pulled me from deciding that it would be at least 5 years before we started talking about this issue to I'd like one soon.  Soon as in, it would be nice to get this damned weight off and start trying. I just keep telling myself that it's all about the bigger picture.

Success!

Rationally, I know that extra weight I gained was probably a bunch of water and junk that was in my body.  I know this, yet to look at those extra numbers killed me.  Honestly, I felt as if I was going to gain that much weight over the course of 5 days, what was the point of working so hard to get to my goal.  At the time of my return, my mini goal (to lose 7 pounds by my anniversary) had been raised to 10.  It really makes me feel like I suck at life (and weight loss).

After a few hours thinking that way, I decided that I had to succeed.  What's the point of trying so hard if I'm just going to give up when the going gets tough.  I brushed myself off and made a pact with myself that I was going to beat those 3.6 pounds. Guess what. . .

Well, as of this morning, I've lost 1.4 pounds.  Kind of ridiculous isn't it?  It would be really really nice if it was all gone by the time WI comes around on Saturday (or at least close).  Now that I'm done with this downward spiral of self loathing, I realize that it wasn't worth it.  How much time was wasted over absolutely nothing?

Vacation

Hi everyone!  I just got back from vacation in sunny (or mostly cloudy) San Francisco.  We had an awesome time and walked sooo much because we didn't have a car.


On the first full day of our vacation, we visited Golden Gate Park, which was only a block from where we were staying.  Maybe I'm biased because I'm a West Coast girl at heart, but I liked it much more than I liked Central Park in New York.  The whole place just looked so forest-y that I really couldn't contain myself.  We also ventured to Haight Ashbury (which is next to the park, if you're interested) and walked around the streets for a while.  The Mr. and I couldn't believe that they were selling $45 tie-dyed t-shirts, that's freakin' outrageous!  Note to self: start a tye-dye t-shirt company and make tons of money.  On our journey through Haight Ashbury, we stopped and had a look at the Greatful Dead house, if they ever need anyone to move in, I'll gladly sacrifice.


Coincidentally, this weekend was Pride, which is the gay pride extravaganza that goes on every year.  Even though we didn't plan on going to SF during one of the most exciting weekends of the year, we definitely felt that we needed to take advantage of the festivities (and boy, are we glad we did).  We started at the Civic Center, which is where the "festival" takes place, where we saw tons of interesting and un-clothed people.  Then, we continued up the parade route and watched the whole thing.  There were all sorts of floats and costumes (some of them were barely there) and we definitely learned some interesting things about our world.  We even learned about a company that rents "lawn-mowing" goats, which I suppose is a greener alternative to a gas mower.


We continued down the road and hit both Pier 39 and Fisherman's Wharf.  We had lunch on the patio at The Hard Rock Cafe and then visited the Musee Mecanique, which is an arcade filled with turn of the century arcade games.  After the Musee, we stopped by Ben & Jerry's to have some delicious low-fat blueberry ice cream.


And. . .  for the good and bad news.  I had to weigh in early because I left Thursday night, which gave brought me down to 165.0!  Unfortunately, I weighed again this morning to face the facts and found that I gained 3.6 pounds.  Really?  How could I have gained that much?  So, even though I had a great time on my trip, I'm not sure that it was worth it in the WW department.

Another Binge

What's with me lately?  Or maybe it should be more appropriately asking myself, why am I still doing this?  I ate not one but two bags of Sun Chips and graham crackers with peanut butter and honey (which were super delicious, btw).  I've tracked and moved on, but I still can't shake the thought that I'm doing this to myself and yet I don't know why.

I've decided to make a list of all of my gains and losses on my WLJ, so I can look and see where I've come from and where I am now.  I'm also thinking that I'm eating because I'm bored (which is mostly how I got here) and that I need a project.  Luckily, I really need to get my wedding album taken care of (since our 1 year anniversary is in a little over a month, oops!).  When I'm bored, I will work on that, rather than eat a vast majority of my weekly points in one sitting.  This might sound lame, but I made a sign to hang on my fridge and in my cabinet door, so I can remind myself that I have better things to be doing.

(A little shameless passive-aggressive note to myself)

Fake Zumba

I'm pretty new to my area and my husband and I make up 2/3 of the employees where I work. Because of this, I don't have many friends. I have one friend, Jessica, who lives very close (and for that I'm eternally thankful) but is a single mom right now so going out at night isn't usually an option. Her husband returns during the first week of July, which is when we're going to go out for a night on the town.

Lately, I've been curious about trying Zumba. I'm a little nervous and not having anyone to go with makes me even more scared to go. I know, this is not a big issue. Hell, I might even meet another friend. I still can't get myself to go.

Enter, Crunch: Cardio Salsa, or what I like to call Fake Zumba. It had pretty good reviews from actual Zumba fans (except for the Zumba instructor who didn't like it). While it's not the same, I definitely think it's a good substitute and a great workout. I worked out for about 20 minutes and earned 2.5 activity points (I was interrupted when my cousin called). It was a little difficult at times, but I got most of the moves after the demonstration. One thing that is completely and totally irrelevant is that the instructor's legs look strange. I'm pretty sure it was a combination of her dancin' legs and the pants that she was wearing, but it was definitely distracting. I finished off the rest of my APs with a long walk with the dog and the Mr.

Post Fail

Sorry for the interruption in posting, I've been pretty busy this past week. I went flying with my dad on Wednesday, and took tons of pictures. I didn't want to post about it until I was able to get the photos off of my camera. I also went to the water park on Friday and had a great time! Both days, I was able to stay on point, which is great for days when you're gone for the whole day.

On Saturday, the Mr. and I had a great weekend. On Saturday evening, we headed over to one of our local wineries that has wine tasting and live music. I ended up getting a glass of white wine and had to talk myself out of a second. After the winery closed, we stopped by P.F. Chang's for some dinner. We had the best service ever and the food was to die for. We finished with mini desserts that were delicious! I ordered tiramisu, which only had 100 calories and only 2 points (score!).

Ooh, I forgot to mention, I got a heart rate monitor! Seriously, this thing is awesome! One of the girls on the WW boards mentioned a good deal going on for the New Balance N2. It took a little time to figure out how to track my calories, but it's good to go now. I know it sounds crazy, but it makes me want to strive for the next activity point.

...

This weekend, my official weigh in was 166.2, which makes a grand total of 23.6 pounds.

My goals for the week:

• Get all GHGs, just like last week
• 3 Activity Points per day (let's bump it up!)

My {semi} long-term goal:

• 7 more pounds by August 8 (our 1 year wedding anniversary)

Restaurant WIN!

Yesterday afternoon, my step-mom called to invite the Mr. and I to my dad's surprise dinner that night. Normally, this would cause panic mode to kick on, which really results in eating mode. Not this time. Since I had a few hours left (and quite a few points as well), I did what any smart WWer would do. . . take a peek at the menu before actually going to the restaurant. Luckily, there were quite a few healthy selections at this BBQ place.

Unfortunately, the rolls were just a bit too good. I didn't have any until right before our food came, but I ended up eating two.

I picked a grilled portabella mushroom sandwich on a whole wheat bun (with thyme mayo on the side) with grilled asparagus spears. It was really good! The mushroom had been marinated in balsamic vinegar and was to die for. I'm not sure if Weight Watchers is getting to me, but the mayonnaise really wasn't worth the points, although it did sound very good. The asparagus were cooked perfectly and were soft and crunchy at the same time.

* * *

Even with all of that food last night, I was still able to lose. I'm now down to 166.2, for a total loss of 23.6 pounds.

Sunday Night Binge

Yep, I did it to myself last night. I'm not sure what happened, but I do know that it was worth 10 of my weeklies - so not worth it. I think my only saving grace was that everything but the marshmallows were individually packaged, which made counting the points easier. I ate 10 of my weeklies, but still have some left for the remaining week. Well, I don't know about easiser. . . it was hard to look at that number this morning, but it has been tracked and I have moved on.

My goals for this week:

• Continue to get all of my Good Healthy Guidelines
• Bump it up to 3 activity points per session

5K Weekend and WI Day

I had a great weekend! I'm back down to 167.8, where I was before I started my gain.

My 5k was this weekend and it turned out great! I actually thought it was on Saturday morning, so I showed up to the park at 7:45, a day early (oops!). I just went back home and went to bed. On Sunday morning, I got up again and did the whole walk. Since it was located in a hilly area and it was pretty hot at 9 am, I walked most of it. I actually had a great time and I really liked that it helped to benefit a cause that really hits close to home (literally).

I also found a series of 10 minute workout videos on YouTube. They're actually created by Sparkpeople.com, an online diet plan. They're free and they're great for when you need a quick workout. This weekend I started the Swimsuit Bootcamp but I plan to do the other bootcamps that they offer. I found that the ten minute workouts were just not enough, so I've been doing the first session, cardio, and then continuing on to whichever episode I'm working on.

The Mr. and I went to see a movie this weekend and I utilized a tool that I had learned about in my meetings. Since we're Regal club members, we ended up with a free small popcorn. . . pretty cool, right? Since I've been guilty before of overeating movie theater popcorn, I asked for an empty water cup. I just scooped a serving into my cup and then counted the cups that I ate. I ended up eating three cups (3 points) and feeling pretty satisfied. It really felt good to know exactly how much popcorn I ate, since it's really one of those difficult things to guesstimate (remember that word from school?).

Day II

I think this blogging thing is really helping me stay on track with my WLJ. I've been thinking more about the foods that I eat because I have to blog about them the next day. It's almost like checking in with myself every day, rather than just once a week.

The good news: Once again, I stayed within my points and met all of my GHG's.

The bad news: I didn't get around to exercising yesterday. I can at least confidently say that I did thoroughly clean my house. . . even though I didn't count it for points, it might at least be a bit of a bonus.

In regards to my daily WI, I'm down again. At this rate, I can hopefully be down to where I was before I started my downward spiral of shame by my next WI. Ok, that was a bit dramatic.

In other news, the Mr.'s family is going to Soak City next Friday. This does nothing but instill fear in me about wearing a bathing suit in public. Luckily, I have a secret weapon. . . Amanda, fellow WW'er and Soak City employee. She works in the food department, so she should be able to help me navigate the food aspect of the day. I'm not sure that saving all of my weekly points for Friday is going to help, because my WI day is Saturday.

Day I Recap

I did great! I met each and every one of my good healthy guidelines and exercised! Guess what meeting the GHGs means. . . you pretty much stay within your points without trying (as long as you're not filling the rest of your eating with stuff). Yup, that's right, yesterday was awesome!

The Mr and I also pumped some iron, thanks to my good friend Jessica who loaned us her husband's free weights while he's away at school. She wanted them out of her garage, we wanted some in our house. Bada bing, bada boom. . . a match made in heaven.

This morning, we signed up for the 5k that is going through our area this weekend. It's to help raise money to stop the building of a rock quarry in our area, which would be the largest open pit mines in the country. . . all located next to our local ecological preserves.

In other news, I'm down 1.2 pounds from my frightful Saturday morning weigh in.

This is It

Confession: This is my second attempt at Weight Watchers and my third attempt at blogging.

I suppose I quit WW the first time because I wasn't losing for me, I was losing because I wanted to look hot in a friend's wedding. Did I look hot? You bet your ass I did, but I didn't know what to do with my thin self, so I ate and ate until I had gained back everything and more. I couldn't even control myself at the wedding. This time is different, this weight loss is for me. This attempt at Weight Watchers is my final attempt, the one that helped me keep the weight off.

In the past few weeks, I've noticed that I've begun to slip back into my old habits. Eating a little of this or that when I don't really have the points for it (why is it that I forget that I'm on WW when I'm snacking), not exercising for days at a time or today's incident of bringing a healthy lunch and then deciding to have takeout because I'm stressed. Seriously, what is that?

My goals for the remaining week:

• Get in all of my GHG's
• At least 2 Activity Points per day